


Tough luck, Bud

by orphan_account



Category: Football RPF, Real Person Fiction, Sports RPF
Genre: ATM, Angst, Kissing, Leaving, M/M, Missed Opportunities, doubts, self doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-07-11 11:15:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7047394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Looking outside the window, there are white and white with red. Happy and Sad. </p><p>Red with White should always be happy. But they're not. </p><p> </p><p>  <em>What if, he would have tried harder</em></p><p> </p><p>He laughs bitterly.<br/>-</p><p> </p><p>set after Milan turned white.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tough luck, Bud

**Author's Note:**

> I've always wanted to write this pair but I never thought it'd be angst....

His mother always says it’s a waste of time to think about what if's. 

 

 _What if, they would have played better on the 1st half_

 

 _What if, he would have score that penalty_

 

After their goal and the way his teammate celebrated it... 

 

 _What if he kissed his lover_

 

…...ha. 

 

He can't think of a time that he's cried so much in his life. 

 

He's had his heart broken before; more times than the usual human. And still none of them compare to that pain. It was like every emotion you hate feeling attacked. He's lost many lovers, but none hurt as much this one. 

 

He has been left by them for others but it never hurt to watch them leave as much as it hurts to watch the white strands around the ears of his suppose to be cup. 

 

Cholo tells him it's not his fault. His teammates give him weak smiles; maybe they're suppose to be reassuring, he guesses. Nando is crying. Its hard to make Nando cry, he always puts up a tough mask. 

 

He's _weak_ now. 

 

They all are. 

 

They're in the bus, on their way to their hotel. 

 

Looking outside the window, there are white and white with red. Happy and Sad. 

 

Red with White should always be happy. But they're not. 

 

 _What if, he would have tried harder_

 

He laughs bitterly. 

 

The _most_ beautiful Madrid deserves happiness and nothing bad. Never bad things. He should leave, go back to his home in France or maybe England, he's always liked the cold much better. They could get someone better, like his fellow national teammate that calls Italy home or someone, anyone, better than him. 

 

That's everyone. 

 

 

He's not in his room. It's his Managers room, his lover's room, he knows the older man will help him. 

 

He does. 

 

The Argentine's eyes are red and they seem swollen under the dim light, he keeps sniffing but he's smiling. _Weak_. 

 

"Antoine, amor, come in" 

 

Antoine does. 

 

He closes his eyes tightly and breathes deeply, fisting his hands then letting go. 

 

"what can I help you with?" Diego walked by him "water?" He went without waiting for a response from Antoine anyways. When he returned he had a cup full of water and handed it to Antoine. Antoine drank it all; He didn't know he was thirsty. 

 

"Diego, I'm sorry" 

 

The Argentine stares at him and his eyes have water in them, red and still swollen, but he doesn't say anything. He extends his arms out for the younger man, without a hesitation Antoine leans into him. Takes the warmth Diego offers him and diego kisses the crown of his head. 

 

"You know, without you we wouldn't have made it to Milan... you know that right?" 

 

They're still standing and Antoine's face is still hidden in the crook of Diego's head, it's a more of a mumble once he answers Diego but Diego understands him, "And if it weren't for me- Nando should have taken the penalty. Nando loves Atleti more than me, maybe- no, no, he would have definitely scored and we would be champions and me and you wouldn't be here right now. You wouldn’t be hurting." He shudders in Diego's arms once he lets it all out; Diego tightens his hold. 

 

"Antoine, when I transferred you here I told you 2 things that you should never do," 

 

"Doubt you. And doubt myself." 

 

Diego smiles a little and kisses him on the head as a reward. 

 

"This things happen in football, all the time. Even if we would have scored, they're Real and they never go down easily. It's not like we can't try again next year" he felt Antoine's smile on his neck and smiled himself before separating them enough for him to be able to look at the French's face. 

 

He cradled his face with both hands and smiled, it was small and the pain and defeat was still evident in his eyes.

 

"what you said, about your future-" Diego opens his mouth to cut Antoine off but Antoine shakes his head and continues "don't tell me. I mean, w-when you make your decision and if it's not the _one_ than don't tell me. Tell me you're going on vacation for a whole season" 

 

 _Don't tell me you're leaving_

 

Diego wants to protest, wants to reassure Antoine that he's not- but he closes his mouth. He gives the younger male a nod and Antoine leans into him once more. 

 

"You don't need a medal around your neck or a trophy in your hands for me to know you're a champion, Grizi" 

 

"Thank you," he pulls away and looks up at Diego, he sees something in the brown eyes he's fallen so deeply in love with but doesn't mention it. Instead he leans up and kisses him "You know I think you're the best...Can we sleep?" Diego smiles at him and kisses his forehead, 

 

"yeah, we can sleep".

 

 _what if, we would have won.._  


-

## "Antoine was crying and I told him that he had brought us here with the killer season he’s had."  


[[x]](http://willianmyson.tumblr.com/post/145074593941/antoine-was-crying-and-i-told-him-that-he-had)

**Author's Note:**

> tbh, idk.  
> I'm not a fan of either Madrid but I have the softest of spot for Grizi. 
> 
> I'm sorry, that Milan isn't red and white. Congrats, Milan is white. 
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes. Enjoy!!!!  
> (Angst is my weakness for sure so, I'd appreciate some feedback to improve!)  
> Thank you for reading!  
> We need more Grizi/Cholo fics here tbh.


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